


The Cure To Flux

by ANnaly (S_naly)



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Flux Buddies, Hat Films, flux - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_naly/pseuds/ANnaly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Consumed by flux, Kim’s only chance of surviving depends on Duncan and Smiffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lightning struck as the banging on the Hatcorp doors began to sound louder and louder, Smiff, being the only one awake due to his late night experiments, grudgingly stomped his way towards to door to give the unwanted guest a good spray of his fire wand. Angrily he swung the door open and readied his wand, after all who in their right mind would go knocking on the HatCorps door? 

“What the fuck do you-” Smiff stopped short. What stood before him baffled him as the once lively Kim Nanosounds laid limp and unconscious in the arms of Duncan. Her body pulsating a dark purple hue, as if it was the beating of her heart.

‘The taint,’ Smiff thought, ‘the flux has completely covered her.”

“Help her, Smiff,” Duncan demanded, adding a soft please afterwards, hopelessly.

“Bring her in, mate. I’ll see what I can do,” Smiff assured.

Warily, Duncan brought her to a bed that Smiff confirmed fine for Kim to lay on and impatiently watched as Smiff hurriedly ran about his lab in search of items. Duncan knew this whole fiasco was entirely his fault since he pushed her into the radioactive taint at the castle. He didn’t think the consequences would be this horrible, it was just suppose to be a teensy joke but now his tiny, dear friend was lying on her possible death bed as Kermit leaped from chest to chest. “Is there anything I can help you with, Smiff? So we can quicken the process?”

To his credit, Smiff didn’t even turn to look at Duncan instead he simply said, “Grab me a sample of the original flux she fell into immediately.”

Without hesitation, Duncan sprinted out the entrance and flew towards his old, destroyed castle. He would get the sample no matter what, not even Mother could persuade him. 

-o-

Smiff tossed element after element into his cauldron, mixing a potion that he hoped would work for the unconscious Kim, but he stopped when he heard a faint murmur coming from that same person. 

_ “Twinkle, twinkle,” _ she mumbled.  _ “How...what you are. Shining with your... please...my fight. Twinkle... star. Why...so far?” _

Turning on his heels, Smiff dashed towards the unconscious woman and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her awake. “Kim. Kim! Sing that again! Once more, Kim,” he shouted at her. But the doors burst opened and Duncan rushed between them, fearing that Smiff was throttling Kim.

“What are you doing, mate? I’m trying to help,” Smiff said incredulously.

“I’m not your mate,” Duncan replied coldly, “and it sure didn’t look like you were helping her.”

Behind them, Kim slowly sat up from her position, with her blind eyes wide open, and began to chant. It started off low until it rose higher and higher in pitch. Both the men turned to face her and simply stared. Neither one has ever come across a situation such as this, and neither one knew what to do next when Kim’s sickly, purple skin began to move in swirls.

But before they could attempt  to wake her, she stopped and limpy fell back onto the bed.

The two men stared at each other silently, “What. The. Fuck,” Smiff stated. “This night is just full of shit.”

Duncan glared at him, “I brought back the sample.”

With his eyes trained on Kim, Smiff snatched the sample out of Duncan’s hand and poured it into the cauldron. He waved his wand across the bubbling liquid and recited the incantations. Magically, the murky fluid transformed into a glittering lavender broth emanating an aroma of spring and a hint of new rain. He ladled the liquid into a flask and turned to face Duncan and Kim. Villainously, Smiff smirked and offered, “Drink this, Ducan.”

“What for? Isn’t that for Kim? She’s in a more desperate form than I am,” Duncan proclaimed.

Chuckling darkly, Smiff replied, “Well,  _ mate _ , we’re not quite sure if this will work on Kim so we need a guinea pig, which is you since you’re also infected with flux.”

Enraged, Duncan stood from his seat, “Then what was the bloody use for me to grab a sample of the flux?”

Smiff obnoxiously made ticking noises, “Time’s wasting away, just. Like. Kim.”


	2. Chapter 2

Duncan ripped the flask from Smiff’s grasp and chugged it down. “I don’t feel anything happening.”

“Of course, you don’t mate. That was just a little reven-”

Duncan lifelessly collapsed onto the floor, but the taint splattered on his skin jerked across his body like a swarm of bees.

Smiff did not expect this. He doubted his cure would even work so when Duncan confirmed that assumption he was going to play it off as a revenge scheme, but this was much worse. Now he had two unconscious people waiting for him, and absolutely no clue on how to cure them.

The slimeman sighed, “I guess I actually have to do some research.” Stealing one of the many pillows from the unconscious Kim, Smiff lifted Duncan’s heavy head and placed it underneath. He might as well be nice since the two were having a rough time, but should Duncan ask who gave him a pillow, he’ll deny it to high hell. 

Sitting at his cluttered desk, Smiff opened the closest tome about flux and began to read. “Taint is the epitome of…”

-o-

“Oi, Smiff, wake up!” Someone shouted while violently shaking him, “Duncan’s up praising your intelligence non-stop and quite frankly, Ross and I are getting tired of hearing about you.”

Smith groggily sat up from his seat and mumbled a threat towards the person. His back ached and his neck was stiff with cramps, what in the hell was he doing sleeping on his desk? 

More shaking occurred, "Duncan is up, mate. Now tell him to shut up."

The sleepy fog cleared up and Smiff shot up from his seat. "Duncan's up," he said excitedly, "Duncan's up? How is he up? Oh, who the fuck cares, he’s up!”

Immediately Smiff sprinted towards Duncan’s loud voice, and as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he nearly toppled over when he abruptly stopped at what he saw. 

There Duncan was, back to his natural form without a single, hideous purple smear upon his skin. He was jovially chatting with Ross and naturally eating all the breakfast as if he lived in Hat Corps since the dawn of time. Which was sometime Smiff needed to fix, since it was  _ his  _ food that Duncan was eating and Smiff definitely didn’t like to share his food. 

When he heard Smiff’s entrance, Duncan waltzed over and clapped him on the shoulder. “I had my doubts about you, Smiff, but you are, hands down, a genius and I’m forever thankful. Now can we go and heal Kim up?”

Dumbfounded at his accomplishment, Smiff simply nodded and headed towards Kim with Duncan in tow. “So, how are you feeling, Duncan? Scientifically, I mean. Or rather, magically?”

“I’m feeling quite alright, really. Like my old self,” Duncan happily replied.

“No tingles? Or even purplish feelings?”

“None at all. Now, if you’ll hurry up with giving Kim the remedy, we can get out of your hair and leave you alone.”

Smiff ladled more of the magical liquid into a flask and carefully cradled Kim’s head. He then took a gulp of the flask, while of course, holding the liquid within his mouth, and moved closer to Kim’s mouth. Slowly, their mouths almost aligned and touched until Duncan, who was stunned before, immediately broke in between them, forcing Smiff to roughly drop Kim’s head and spit out the liquid.

“What the blethering hell do you think you’re doing, Smiffy?” Duncan shouted.

“I can ask you the same thing! Do you not want me to give her the potion, because by all means, you can just take her and leave,” Smiff argued back, whilst mumbling something about unwelcomed guest eating all the food. 

“Of course I want you to give her the potion, but it doesn’t have to be through k-kissing,” Duncan stuttered and flushed red, which was more pronounced now that he wasn’t half purple. 

“Fine, ruin the fun,” Alsmiffy conceded, “I was just joking anyway.”

Then normally, he picked up her head again and poured the potion into her mouth, while checking to make sure she was swallowing it. 

“Is it working?” Duncan asked. 

Without thinking Smiffy responded, “I don’t know.”

“What you mean, you don’t know? Didn’t you know that it was going to work for me? You did see what happened after I drank the potion last night, right? In fact, what did happen after I drank it?”

Smiffy, of course, too proud to admit he, in fact, did not see what happened after Duncan collapsed, did not reply. Instead, he just grumbled a threat and said, “Now we wait.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Wine or cheese?”

“We’ve been playing this god-awful game for five hours now. When is Kim going to wake up?” Duncan said impatiently, nearly face planting the desk in frustration.

“Wine or cheese, mate?”

Duncan groaned and rolled his eyes, “Cheese.”

“Okay, well, you are in a wine cellar holding your cheese, but you’re surrounded by an army of rats. What do you do?”

“I eat the cheese.”

“Ooh, sorry. mate, but the leader of the rat army shoots the cheese out of your hand before it reaches your mouth and begins to order the others to release fire upon you.”

“You literally meant an army of rats, not just a bunch of rats together. Why am I not surprised?”

“You are in agony. It was like little tickles when the rats began to fire at you with their miniature guns but now, the pains increasing and you’re bleeding out from a thousand puncture holes. What do you do?”

“Just kill it there. We both know how this ends. It's exactly how the other 42 games ended. With. Me. Dying. Horrendously.”

“But, Duncan, we’ve just gotten to the best part,” Alsmiffy exclaimed.

“Frankly, I don’t care anymore. I’m-”

A painful groan from the bed silenced the two grown men. Both shot up from their seats and all but sprinted to the bedside. 

“Kim!” Both the men shouted.

“Ugh. Can you two be any louder?”

“Who watches the watchmen?” Duncan nearly shrieked.

Smiff turned his head and looked at Duncan disbelievingly, but Kim answered, “Sam Vimes.”

“Really? That’s the first question you ask her when she wakes up?  _ Who watches the watchmen? _ ” Smiffy scoffed, “How are you feeling, Kim? Flux-y?”

Kim sat up and slowly stretched her arms above her, yawning as she does so. “I feel fantastic. Almost like I- HOLY MOTHER OF- I’M NOT PURPLE!” Instantly, she threw off the covers and jumped onto her feet.

Unfortunately, while she was mentally prepared to be back on her feet, Kim’s knees buckled and she collapsed into Smiff’s arms. “Calm down, Kim,” he easily lifted her up and placed her gently back into the bed, “While Duncan here may have asked all his questions, as a magical  scientist, I still have questions to ask.”

“Oh bugger off with the questions, I’M NOT PURPLE ANYMORE! No one’s talking in my head, other than me, of course, and Mother’s not hounding me about-” Kim froze, “Wait, what was she saying? I just completely forgot. How can I not remember? She whispered it everyday. There’s -”

As Kim continued prattling on, Smiffy uncharacteristically scribbled down notes of what was happening. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any paper within arms reach so he, instead, had grabbed the edge of Duncan’s lab coat and shamelessly used the permanent marker he spotted under the bed. 

“- DUNCAN, WHAT ARE WE DOING AT HATCORP? AT OUR ARCH-NEMESIS’S… nemesi? Whatever. Anyways, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? AND WHY AM I IN THIS BED?” Kim screeched as she closed her rambling speech. “We didn’t-” she gulped, “have a three-” she coughed. The two men stared at her blankly, neither one understanding where she was going with her subtle hinting, so Kim huffed and shouted, “A THREESOME!”

Still the two men stared at her blankly.

Ross, who was innocently walking past and heard only the ending, stopped where he stood.  _ Three _ fully grown men, who were nearly twice the size of Kim, stared at her blankly. One of which was coming out of his stupor and stood from his seat.

“Aren’t you a randy one?” Alsmiffy chuckled and patted her head, “Is that what you were dreaming of while you were unconscious?”

Kim blushed, her entire face rapidly turning a bright tomato red.

Smiff slowly moved his face closer to hers, until there was only a inch between, “From purple to red, you can never just stay one color, can you Kim?”

“WE DIDN’T HAVE ONE,” Duncan exploded, his face nearly matching Kim’s. He’ll never mention to anyone, ever, but the images that flashed through his mind made him forget how to breathe and made the room suddenly very steamy. She was his best friend. He wasn't allowed to have those sort of thoughts about her.

Irritated that the moment was ruined, Smiffy sat back into his seat and continued taking notes. This time he'll be sure to get all the changes that occurred when the potion was administered, that was, until Duncan ripped his coat back from him. 

“What. Are. You. Doing? Why,” Duncan exclaimed, “Why would you do this?” He tenderly held the written part of his coat and gingerly rubbed it across his cheek. “This was a special gift from someone.”

Feeling a hint of guilt, Smiff raised in hands as if to surrender and said, “Alright, mate, but it's just a lab coat. Besides, now it has more important things written on it rather than the ribena juice you had earlier.”

“Oh for God’s sake. You don’t think about anything you do before actually doing it do you? You are insane. That’s what you are,” Duncan raged. “You don’t care about what other’s are doing, or what anything means to them. You just destroy those things. A monster. That's what you are. You’re-”

As he continued ranting, he slowly stood from his seat and loomed over Smiffy’s head. His fists clenched and shaking, his face quickly turning into a shade of bright red, but it was his eyes that caught Smiffy’s attention. The yelling, Smiff didn’t care about. He was constantly receiving the brunt of Trott’s and Ross’s rage when he was feeling his destructive, pyromaniac tendencies coming on, but when Duncan’s eyes flashed purple, he knew something was wrong.

“Look, mate, I’m sorry but you need to calm down,” he cautiously said.

“Calm down?” Duncan whispered then continued cooly in a steady tone, “I. Am. Calm.  _ Mate.”  _ He shoved a finger at Smiff’s chest. “It’s you who needs to calm down.”

Unable to resist the urge to correct him, Smiff replied, “From the way things currently look, I’m the calm one right now. Right, Kim?” He looked to her for assurance. 

“Don’t look at me, mate. I’ve never seen Duncan so angry before,” she shrugged, “I don’t want to get involved.”

Enraged, Duncan grabbed Smiff by the collar as shook him. “ _ Mother wants her children back,”  _ he roared before collapsing. 


	4. Chapter 4

Smiff stood up from the fall he took alongside with Duncan and casually dusted himself. “So Kim,” he said nonchalantly, “Wine or cheese?”

“Wine or cheese?” Kim screeched, “Duncan just collapsed and that’s all you can say?”

“Well it's certainly better than ‘Who watches the watchmen?’” He shrugged, “Besides, it’s not the first time he’s fainted, and if it’s anything like the other time then it’ll be a while before he wakes up again.”

Kim huffed in frustration. ‘Men,’ she thought, but replied, “Cheese.”

“You’re dying of thirst in the Sahara Desert, but all you have is cheese. What do you do?”

“Oh, this is a game,” Kim blushed, “I thought you were offering me cheese.”

“No, no, you’re dying of thirst here, Kim. What do you-” a horrendously loud growl ripped through Smiff’s sentence, “What. Was, That?” Smiff said incredulously, “Was that a bear? In Hat Corps?”

Kim’s looked down in embarrassment, “What do you expect? I’ve been unconscious for how ever long without food, and now we’re waiting for Duncan to wake up. Then you suddenly ask me if I wanted wine or cheese, and thought I wouldn’t be hungry?”

“Right, then,” Smiffy said and reached his hand out to her, “Let’s go scavenge for food.”

With a bright red face, Kim slowly grabbed his hand and carefully made her way off the bed. She cleared her throat and said, “Thank you.”

When her feet made contact with the floor, she nearly toppled over, but instead she shakily stood her ground and made her way towards the door. However, when she unvolunteeringly almost ran into Smiffy’s stand of essences, he finally offered, “I’ll carry you to the kitchen.”

“No,” she adamantly denied, “I can do this. Just lead the way.”

Smiffy shrugged. “Right then, follow me,” he said, and strode out the door.

Kim took a deep breath and steadied herself, or tried to at least. It didn’t help that the world was spinning, and the floor suddenly seemed a lot closer to her, but she pushed her tingling legs forward and slowly stumbled her way after Smiff. As she reached the doorway, a pair of hands grabbed her at the waist and tossed her over their shoulder, turning her world upside down.

“Bad!” She shouted, “Bad Alsmiffy! Put me down!”

“With the pace you were making, you would’ve died from starvation before you ever got to the kitchen so shut up,” Smiff grunted as he winced at the thumps of Kim’s punches.

“You didn’t have to man-handle me,” she huffed, “I would’ve made it eventually.”

“You’re really grouchy without food, Kim. I better hurry to the kitchen,” Smiffy smirked and jogged to the kitchen with Kim, arms crossed and unamused, bounced on his shoulder.

“This is absolutely ridiculous,” she mumbled, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Sorry, Kim? Can’t hear you from back there. Did you just say that I’m real gorgeous?” Smiffy laughed and placed her down, “Think you can make it to the chair without falling for me?” He winked and patted her head. 

“Of course I can,” She said and kicked him in the shin, satisfied when he yelped in pain. “I can grab myself,” she surveyed the kitchen, “a bowl of cereal too while I’m at it.” Carefully, but confidently she walked towards the many choices of cereals and plucked out her favorite. When she spied the stack of bowls, however, she hesitated. It was simply out of reach. If she was home she would’ve had her helping stool or at least Duncan to reach the bowls, but none of that was here at the moment. “Well,” she said, stretching out her shoulders and checking her balance, “time to test my parkouring skills.”

Smiffy, recovered from the kick, stood and watched Kim’s struggle in amusement. “This isn’t going to end well, you know?” He said. 

“Its-” she hefted her leg over the counter, “going to be fine.” A few more moments of struggling, frustrated groans, and a chuckling Smith, Kim finally, and safely she’ll like the add, grabbed a bowl and jumped down. “Didn’t do so bad,” she said satisfied, “and my legs are feeling more stable.”

“Can you grab me a bowl too, “ Smiff asked cheekily. 

“You can do it yourself, mate,” she responded with a glare and if Smith wasn’t mistaken, a flash of purple within her eyes. 

“Alright, mate,” he said, making his own bowl of cereal, “but how are you feeling?”

“Like normal, really. My legs are still a bit tingly, but that may be from being unconscious or the flux disappearing.”

“Really? Well, maybe it's because your legs are so short, your body quit circulating blood through them because it thought they were overgrown warts,” Smiff boredly said. “And you have a small penis,” he added for good measure.

Kim stood up abruptly, and slammed her hands onto the table angrily, “Excuse me?  _ My  _ legs are short? Maybe it’s  _ your  _ legs that are abnormally long, and what’s this about a small penis? If I had one, it’ll be twice the size of yours, that's for sure. You awful, demeaning-”

Smiff crossed his arms and took note of the changes that occurred in the enraged, ranting Kim. Her eyes turned purple the instant she let her anger control her, and she was either levitating or somehow growing taller since she continued to loom higher and higher over his head as her pitch rose. He looked beneath the table to check, and nodded his approval. Definitely levitating. 

“You’re right,” Smiff admitted.

“Of course, I’m bloody right, you imbecile. You’re just trying to atone for something you don’t have with all those pe-” Kim paused, as the words he said soaked through her mind, “I’m right? About what? Which part of the shout was I right about?”

“None,” he said, “but I’ve made a breakthrough and it relies on you remaining calm.”

Kim slowly nodded her head in confusion, “Alright?”

“And we need to get back to Duncan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hullo :) Leave what you will. I hoped you enjoyed it. Comments are inspirational.


End file.
